I\u2019m constantly telling leaders that probably the most important\nelement of coaching is providing feedback. People need to know what they\u2019re\ndoing well, and they need to know what areas are in need of improvement. This\nmay seem obvious, but research shows that many managers find it awkward and\nuncomfortable\u2015and even embarrassing\u2015to tell someone their performance needs\nimprovement. So we put it off, hoping the situation will improve on its own.\nMany times it doesn\u2019t; in fact, it may get worse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my coaching practice I\u2019m frequently asked, \u201cIs there a better way\nto do this?\u201d The answer is yes! Of all the coaching and feedback models\navailable, I do have a favorite. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s why: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For some, this may seem impossible. \u201cBut there\u2019s history and context,\nso I need to build my case.\u201d Don\u2019t. No long-winded build-up, no history, no\nblame. Keep it in behavior terms and avoid a discussion about attitude. You\ndon\u2019t know \u201cwhy\u201d the behavior occurred; just describe what was done. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Example: <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n “In our last meeting with several members of senior management, you interrupted the discussion three times to talk about issues you\u2019re experiencing with the reorganization.<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n Step 2:<\/strong> Describe the effect of the\nperson\u2019s behavior on others: you, the department, the team, the customer\u2015and\nthemselves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Example:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n “In meetings like this, bringing up problem after problem without suggestions, alternatives, or success stories brings the whole team down. And senior management may get the impression you aren\u2019t doing your best to make the changes a success, which can negatively impact your opportunity for promotion. I need you to help me set a more positive tone.<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, if possible, say something to minimize potential embarrassment\n(yours and theirs): \u201cThis isn\u2019t like you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now give them an opportunity to \u201cexplain.\u201d You must listen\u2015really\nlisten\u2015to their explanation. Don\u2019t interrupt. Don’t argue. Even if they get\nsome facts wrong (and they might), and even if you disagree (you probably\nwill), don’t argue. Instead, try to see it from their perspective. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Helping this person take a share of responsibility for the situation\nis key. Notice I did not say their fair<\/em> share, because who determines\nwhat is fair, anyway? <\/p>\n\n\n\n You want different behavior next time, so your goal is to get the other party to accept a share of the responsibility and move forward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Example:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou are right, it was a new situation for you, the instructions\nweren\u2019t clear, and there were other people who were also negative. I understand\nthat. Let me ask you, what could you have done differently?\u201d <\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Ask, \u201cFaced with the same situation, what would you do differently\nnext time?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Once the person is aware of the situation, there\u2019s a good chance that\nhe\/she will be able to come up with alternatives for the future. If not, be\nprepared to offer help, but my experience is that they will have ideas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Resist the temptation to perfect their plan. If they are anywhere\nclose, go with it<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Effectiveness is an equation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Results = (quality of the idea) multiplied by (the motivation to\nimplement that idea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n The idea may be good, but whose good idea is it? If it\u2019s not their\nidea, the motivation to actually implement the idea decreases significantly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Although they may nod and accept your great plan, it is still your\nplan. (And if it doesn\u2019t work, your fingerprints are all over it.) You\u2019re much\nbetter off with an acceptable plan that is theirs to own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Most people you work with take their commitments very seriously. So get one. Say, for example: <\/p>\n\n\n\nStep 3: <\/strong>Ask, \u201cWhat Happened?\u201d <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 4: <\/strong>Get Their \u201cBuy-In\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 5:<\/strong> Develop a Plan<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 6:<\/strong> Get a Commitment<\/h2>\n\n\n\n